Low Mileage Seeker T-Shirts

'This was only driven back and forth in the driveway by an obsessive compulsive.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"He's deliciously vintage."

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

Do not disturb...

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

Silver Fox

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

Real Estate Personals

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

"No guarantees, right?"

'This isn't the meeting. This is the pre-premeeting to talk about when to meet and plan the meeting.'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

Trillion dollar Dream Merchants - on a screen near you.

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

"You're stealing the blanket."

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

'Music hath charms,' &c.

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

Louis XIV

'Good news, Perkins! We're finally getting an automatic postage machine!'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.