Low-calorie Foods Pillows

'We've given up sugar in tea,coffee and puddings.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

Making healthy eating bearable.

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

Heart Disease Menu

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

Sawdust.

"One slice—hold the bread."

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

Slow food.

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

'I don't care if it IS Tofurkey...I am not eating that!'

"There's a storm in my tea cup, I wonder if it has a name?"

Low Carb Slop

Years later, during the low carb craze, she became known simply as 'Mary had a lotta lamb.'

'Not fair. This dessert is made out of broccoli and carrots.'

Policeman wishing for lighter food than meat in hot weather

Whenever I let my conscience be my guide, I get picked up for vagrancy. (Published originally on 8/5/2006.)

Al's Diner. All You Can Eat $4.95. Well, shall we scurry up and down the food chain?

Dinosaur laughing at another being hit by small meteorite.

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

Mind if we eat rural tonight?My doctor says I need more fibre in my diet.

He waited patiently, but his chips refused to fall.

When Chassidim sit outside for too long.

'Right, I'm at the yoghurt section...What size?...Right...What flavour?...Right...Low fat?...Right...Very low fat?...Right...How many?...Right...'

Almond Milk, Coconut Milk, and Whole Milk.

Other Walks of Shame