Lover Of Sports Antics Gifts

Third base coaches during a brawl

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

Pole Vault Rules

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

'Watch out for the hidden ball trick.'

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.

'I said shag carpeting.'

'Must be that new 3D football.'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

"Kill the third base umpire."

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

'I'm so embarrassed I'll never be able to hold up my head again.'

'Let's practice lobs again.'

'Oh, dude. Maybe the electronics store has a, throws like a little girl return policy.'