Lover Of Law Enforcement Banter Pillows

'You know, I thought about becoming a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.'

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

Projection

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

Sweet Jailbreak

Life in the Fast Lane.

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Rollercoaster police chase.

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

Piñata police line-up.

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Oh, sorry, I didn

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

It slowly became apparent that the police interpretive dance artist was less effective than the police sketch artist.

Early Profiling

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

"Good job, inspector! Today you made the suspect dance and tomorrow you'll make him sing!"

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

No Parking.

Hair Spray / CS Gas.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Suspicious package under the Christmas tree? OK, please just stay calm and remain on the line."

Police introduce poetry to reduce stress - Sergeant reading poetry to criminal.

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

'I ran a computer check on you. If you'll give me the phone number of that cute babe Diane on your MySpace site, I'll let you off with just a warning.'

"Avon calling..!"

"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."