Lover Of Devilish Humor Pillows

Hades Cafeteria. You didn't have any seared steak, blackened fish or even any devils food cake! What do you guys want? Take-out food. No exit.

"I thought you wanted me to change."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Meowlzebub

Bureau of the Damned

"Any references?"

Going Down?

"From this you make a living?"

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Bat out of Hell

Pranking Zombies

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'Let's set aside the role as the 'Bringer of Death' and explore your desire to dance,'

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

'He said there's a 40-minute wait for non-smoking.'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

'We've given you a brain scan and we can't find anything.'

"I am now cutting all my rude remarks about the patient from her file."

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

'This citation is for finally making that U-Turn in your life.'

'We've got a problem - They're starting to enjoy it.'

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."