Devilish Humor Fans Pillows

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

An angel's halo is held up by a devil's tail.

'It will interest you to learn that your bank denied my credit application for reasons of character.'

"Any references?"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Going Down?

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Bat out of Hell

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

"It's talk like a pirate day."

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

Summer in Hell

Type that up, make ten million copies and then shred them.

"I'm glad that you've decided not to take yourself so seriously, but. . ."

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

The day the Times never once mentioned Michael Ovitz

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

'To be honest, rock n'roll isn't my thing at all, I'm much more a country n'western kinda guy.'

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

"This one is called 'Hell Toupee'