Devilishly Witty Humor Fan Pillows

'Of course there's no greed, bonuses and profit seeking down here! What did you expect? This is Bankers' Hell!'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trump Poutine

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'More government surveillance!'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

The Thinker?

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"Any references?"

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

How men process questions.

Going Down?

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

A whale with corporate sponsorship

Sign # 23 that you've spent too much time at a game: your nails are longer than your fingers and your hair touches your ankles.

"Italy just bought France."

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."