Devilishly Witty Humor Fan Pillows

'Of course there's no greed, bonuses and profit seeking down here! What did you expect? This is Bankers' Hell!'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'More government surveillance!'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

The Thinker?

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

How men process questions.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

Going Down?

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"Any references?"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

A whale with corporate sponsorship

Who's the Rogue State?

"Italy just bought France."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

Biden Ignores the G7 Leaders on Afghanistan