Devilishly Funny Fan Pillows

'To look on the bright side - at least they speak English!'

"Bless You."

"I'm glad that you've decided not to take yourself so seriously, but. . ."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Any references?"

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Going Down?

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Hellbillies.

Heaven and Hell

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

Gas Bill

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

A Heated Argument

The Neighbours from Hell....

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

The lessor of two evils.

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

The day the Times never once mentioned Michael Ovitz

'Of course you've got a grumbling wife who is an organized labour and who works for the SEC. Where do you think you are, man?'

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

"It's talk like a pirate day."

'I've always been a great fan of yours. I wrote all your books!'