Devilishly Funny Fan Gifts

'To look on the bright side - at least they speak English!'

"Bless You."

"I'm glad that you've decided not to take yourself so seriously, but. . ."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"Any references?"

Going Down?

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Hellbillies.

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

Gas Bill

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

Heaven and Hell

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

A Heated Argument

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

The Neighbours from Hell....

The lessor of two evils.

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."

The day the Times never once mentioned Michael Ovitz

"It's talk like a pirate day."