Devilish Humor Fan Gifts

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'Will this go on my permanent record?'

"Any references?"

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

"Look, I just need to find 111,780 more souls..."

'She's hot... she's hot... she's really hot...'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"It's talk like a pirate day."

"Anyone home?"

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

Going Down?

'These days, nearly ninety percent of our business is hell on earth.'

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

Monster in Bath

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

The practical psychopath

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

"I'm the bad guy..."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"The Eggsorcist"