Devilishly Good Humor Fan Gifts

"Any references?"

Going Down?

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

'This citation is for finally making that U-Turn in your life.'

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

"I'm glad that you've decided not to take yourself so seriously, but. . ."

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

The day the Times never once mentioned Michael Ovitz

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

"It's talk like a pirate day."

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

'Of course I forgot your birthday and our wedding anniversary! Hey, this is hell!'

Soul Music

'These days, nearly ninety percent of our business is hell on earth.'

'I don't think your taking this seriously boy.'

'At last, an ethics committee that will listen to reason!'

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

'Will this go on my permanent record?'

doughnuts

'I don't care if the pot roast was a little dry,you had no business condemning poor Gloria to hell'

"Bless You."

Monster in Bath

'It will interest you to learn that your bank denied my credit application for reasons of character.'