Devilishly Good Humor Lover Gifts

...What I wouldn't give for just one glass of iced tea.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Going Down?

"Any references?"

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

People forget, on the 8th and 9th days I created the long weekend.

Don't Walk on the Water

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

'That's Saint Throbbold. Patron saint of migraine.'

God's Manicure.

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'You're nuts! It isn't any hotter than usual so quit brining up global warming!'

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

Angel hitchhiker has sign: 'Bible Belt'

The day the Times never once mentioned Michael Ovitz

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

"It's talk like a pirate day."

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

Jesus looking at a 'you are here' map.

"Lord, maybe Baptism should have come after Pentecost."

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

Designated smoking area of the gods

'These days, nearly ninety percent of our business is hell on earth.'

Soul Music

'Miss Cox, check the polls and see how well God's running.'

Oh, sorry, those were the unearthly screams of the eternally damned. I'll take it off speaker.