Devilishly Good Humor Fan Pillows

Oh, sorry, those were the unearthly screams of the eternally damned. I'll take it off speaker.

"Any references?"

Going Down?

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

'This citation is for finally making that U-Turn in your life.'

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

"It's talk like a pirate day."

The day the Times never once mentioned Michael Ovitz

"I'm glad that you've decided not to take yourself so seriously, but. . ."

Your radio show this week was incredible. Buzz off. Who cares what you think? It was angry, vitriolic, sarcastic, mean-spirited, pessimistic. Do you mean that? You really were listening? I'm not giving a compliment. You're less horrifyingly objectionable than usual.

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

"I like that! What are you listening to?"

Soul Music

'Of course I forgot your birthday and our wedding anniversary! Hey, this is hell!'

'I don't think your taking this seriously boy.'

"This one is called 'Hell Toupee'

'These days, nearly ninety percent of our business is hell on earth.'

'At last, an ethics committee that will listen to reason!'

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

doughnuts

'Will this go on my permanent record?'

"Bless You."

"I can't eat anything spicy."

Monster in Bath