Devilish Humor Appreciator Pillows

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

He looks so natural lying there...

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

Cheating Death.

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

Meowlzebub

Going Down?

"Any references?"

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

The Reaper's Arms

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

Existential Risk

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"Great! The defibrillator still works! Thank you, nurse!"

Cupid's Valentine

"Another clear case of COVID19."

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

'The anti-Christ can't pick up a phone?'

'Another Scotch?'

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."