Devilishly Funny Fans Pillows

'I hate Mondays.'

"She's possessed by the devil!"

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Tequila Mockingbird

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"Any references?"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

'Guess who's teething?'

Going Down?

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Henry, cut that out.'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"What?!"

Beer Lunch

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

Bat out of Hell

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Hellbillies.

Under New Mismanagement

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sawrd Fighting

'Look, that peasant is eating something -- the economy's on the move again!'

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'