Devoted Devilish Humorist Pillows

"I gotta hand it to you, Fred. . . sneaking Eternal Damnation into all those website Terms & Conditions statements was pure genius."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Any references?"

Meowlzebub

Going Down?

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

'They come down here to smoke.'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

The day the Times never once mentioned Michael Ovitz

"It's talk like a pirate day."

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

Hand baskets only lane in hell.

Soul Music

"Go on, clear off you ruddy pervert and don't come back."

'These days, nearly ninety percent of our business is hell on earth.'