Love Navigator Pillows

"Cute... But way too young."

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

'Please tell me that you have something else to offer?'

...In a Relationship

Gaydar Repair

"You are the World Traveller Plus in the airport of my life."

"I have an app that separates the men form the boys."

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

"To be honest Marsha, when I first met Ted, I couldn't stand him. Then, over time, he just seemed to grow on me."

"I'm dating a 50-year-old woman! I need prescriptions for erectile dysfunction drugs and medical marijuana."

Travel Planner: Our Specialities - Romantic Honeymoons, Destination Breakups.

Relationships seldom survive metamorphosis.

Tunnel of the bit on the side.

'I was incomplete before I married my hubby. . . Oh yes, but now I'm finished.'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

'My dream boat has turned out to be an anchor dragging prune barge!'

'She turned a corner and now she's backing out of a one-way street doing 90 miles an hour.'

Love Park: You Are Here

Rendez-Vous.

Ex-boyfriend Sleeps on Couch 'Never mind Derrick...he hasn't moved out yet.'

"That's why, I always recommend amateurs just ignore all winks."

"I'm afraid we've lost that loving feeling."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"I can tell you're just hate-agreeing with me."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Better times ahead.

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"Tunnel of love"

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

Midlife: You Are Here.

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Doubt or Certainy

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'