Love Life Navigator Pillows

"We slipped in the tub."

"No, you can't have my number but don't worry, I've already got yours!"

'I'm getting mixed signals!'

"You don't look like your picture."

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

"Sorry, I'm looking for Mr. Right."

"Just one particular man immune to your charms, or are you getting a sense of herd immunity?"

"I'll always love you Roger, I'll just be having sex with somebody else."

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

What one should not say on a first date.

"Apparently, those phones are more potent than my arrows."

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

A learner driver in a heart-shaped car

"Yes, you will soon find "Miss Right"...but her nickname is "Always"."

'What are you doing this evening?'

'Here are my references from previous partners.'

'I met a girl online, but we didn't click.'

Speed Dating and Speed Dumping

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"Well, look who's here - the other end of the candle I've been burning!"

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Better times ahead.

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

Midlife: You Are Here.

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Doubt or Certainy

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'