Romance Navigator Pillows

'Is the breakup forever this time?' 'No, we're on again, off again.'

'I heard you were available.'

'I think we should start seeing other people.'

"You know when you said you were still on good terms with your ex Brian..."

"What's your exit strategy?"

"I usually tell lies to a girl on the first date. It keeps her interested enough for me to ask her out again!"

Woman picking between two men.

'We're indeed not the cheapest restaurant in town. Why do you ask, sir?'

Gaydar Repair Shop

'Well I never Did! Doris Mickelthwaite! Not only still gorgeous but single too.'

Blind date rule number 1...always request a full body shot

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

'Excuse me...I think they're trying to attract your attention.'

'And that's it in a nutshell son... any questions?'

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

Dentures and foot kissing

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

In the Guru District

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Great Therapy!'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."