Online Romance Navigator Pillows

'Jeremy and I have decided to take our online relationship to a new level - real life.'

'We met, dated, got engaged, married, broke up, reconciled and divorced - all online.'

'George and I met on line!'

In the Guru District

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'Great Therapy!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."