Online Dating Navigator Pillows

"I thought it might speed up the dating process."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

Online Dating

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"You don't use a search engine for an Easter egg hunt."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

"I need a man who will commit."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

'George and I met on line!'

Pete's trying to groom himself"

"We have had a great year but we've also raised the bar for next year."

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."