Modern Romance Navigator Pillows

"Every guy out there is either married, gay, or a human suit zipped around a column of ants."

Just Married

"Would you like to see a picture of me before the operation?"

"Yes, I'd love to go for dinner. Can I bring a date?"

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

Online Dating

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

'My life coach traded me.'

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

Women who Read Too Much

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

"You might have time left for one more book, but only if it doesn't require and lot of research."

Dog Book Club

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

Meet Zelda Wisteria, author of the book 'Leap, and the Net will Appear!'

'For many months, you've been preparing to enter the sea of matrimony, and today, you walk the plank.'

...In a Relationship

Book Igloo

"Look, all we did was sleep together. I saved watching 'Game of Thrones' for us."

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"They always forget the hyphen. . ."

Welcome to the Hothouse Writer's Colony.

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

Writer's Block Next 10 Miles

"It's about the world's smartest girl, her caring father, her fun-loving great aunt and her annoying, car-obsessed big brother."

Book lovers