Romance Navigator T-Shirts

'I heard you were available.'

'I think we should start seeing other people.'

"You know when you said you were still on good terms with your ex Brian..."

"What's your exit strategy?"

"I usually tell lies to a girl on the first date. It keeps her interested enough for me to ask her out again!"

Woman picking between two men.

'We're indeed not the cheapest restaurant in town. Why do you ask, sir?'

Gaydar Repair Shop

'Well I never Did! Doris Mickelthwaite! Not only still gorgeous but single too.'

Blind date rule number 1...always request a full body shot

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

'Excuse me...I think they're trying to attract your attention.'

'And that's it in a nutshell son... any questions?'

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

Dentures and foot kissing

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

In the Guru District

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

'Great Therapy!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"