Online Romance Navigators T-Shirts

On the website you said you were 32!

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

Mine Shaft of Love.

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

"Thanks for that."

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"

...In a Relationship

"I need a man who will commit."

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"

Bumper Cars of Love.

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

"Harry, you're wrong on every level."

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

'We met online, but we don't seem able to take our relationship to the next level.'