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'It's OK to say no. I'm not married to the idea.'

"I'm alone, cowboy."

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

Tasty.

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

...In a Relationship

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

"We slipped in the tub."

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

'I like you and all, Adam, but I'm 'Graphic Novel' and you're just so 'Comic Bookie'.'

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

'My dream boat has turned out to be an anchor dragging prune barge!'

"To be honest Marsha, when I first met Ted, I couldn't stand him. Then, over time, he just seemed to grow on me."

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

'George and I met on line!'

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"