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'It's OK to say no. I'm not married to the idea.'

"I'm alone, cowboy."

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

Tasty.

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

Mine Shaft of Love.

Tunnel of love, then disillusionment, then mundane humdrum coexistence.

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

Bumper Cars of Love.

...In a Relationship

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

"We slipped in the tub."

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

'My dream boat has turned out to be an anchor dragging prune barge!'

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

'George and I met on line!'

"To be honest Marsha, when I first met Ted, I couldn't stand him. Then, over time, he just seemed to grow on me."

'I like you and all, Adam, but I'm 'Graphic Novel' and you're just so 'Comic Bookie'.'

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"