Love Equation Analysts Gifts

When chemical engineers break up.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Wall St. or True Love.

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

" A lot of it is just legal mumbo-jumbo."

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

"Have you finished working out whether you still love me?"

Sometimes in a relationship a person just needs some space.

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

"And he's caring and honest and gentle..." "I'd do her."

'I'll need four character references.'

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't expect me to spar with you."

Invent Sales Day

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

'Your resume is great - but I'm always suspicious when a good man is easy to find.'

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"Are we maximizing our time together or minimizing our efforts?"

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

'No, I'm not going to hate myself in the morning. I hate myself now!'

"A preliminary market analysis indicates that money can buy us love at approximately $21.75 a bushel."