Love Equation Analysts Gifts

When chemical engineers break up.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Wall St. or True Love.

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

" A lot of it is just legal mumbo-jumbo."

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Have you finished working out whether you still love me?"

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

Sometimes in a relationship a person just needs some space.

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

"And he's caring and honest and gentle..." "I'd do her."

'I'll need four character references.'

"If you really loved me you wouldn't expect me to spar with you."

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"A preliminary market analysis indicates that money can buy us love at approximately $21.75 a bushel."

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

'Your resume is great - but I'm always suspicious when a good man is easy to find.'

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

"Are we maximizing our time together or minimizing our efforts?"

'No, I'm not going to hate myself in the morning. I hate myself now!'