Love Strategy Analyst Gifts

'I sent out for everything.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Wall St. or True Love.

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

" A lot of it is just legal mumbo-jumbo."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

Dating the efficiency expert.

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"I had half a date last weekend."

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."