Love Strategy Analyst Gifts

Invent Sales Day

'I sent out for everything.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Wall St. or True Love.

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

" A lot of it is just legal mumbo-jumbo."

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

Dating the efficiency expert.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"I had half a date last weekend."

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."