Love Accountants Gifts

'It's not the age difference, Larry - it's the wage difference.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Wall St. or True Love.

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'This graph may need some explaining...'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

" A lot of it is just legal mumbo-jumbo."

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

Overdraft limit.

I am billing, therefore I am.

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

"Good God! Has the dollar fallen that far?"

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

Toys - Business Model.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"