Love Investors Gifts

Wall St. or True Love.

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

" A lot of it is just legal mumbo-jumbo."

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

Maybe it's time to stop giving our bones to a broker and start burying them in the backyard again.

Mate Mart

Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"We'd like to take a majority position in your poetry."

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"I recommend that you dump the tech stocks and go into acorns."

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

'I'm beginning to worry -- everything I've got is tied up in investment newsletters!'

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

'It was love at first sight!'

Investor loses shirt in Eurozone meltdown.

Invent Sales Day

"I live for twenty four hours. How can I fund a 401 K?"

"Are we maximizing our time together or minimizing our efforts?"

'We'd like to roll over our allowance.'

Got out of the market too soon, got back in too late.

'We invested everything we had in our marriage.'

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

"A preliminary market analysis indicates that money can buy us love at approximately $21.75 a bushel."

Marriage Guidance - "Do you find that hating each other puts a strain on your relationship?"

Get rich today with cold fusion tomorrow! Invest now!: 'More like con - fusion! He's a con artist!'

A couple look at a graph on their bed

"What's the current return on investment?"

'This is the era of transparency. I'm marrying you for your money.'