Light-hearted Accountants Gifts

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

Overdraft limit.

I am billing, therefore I am.

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

"Good God! Has the dollar fallen that far?"

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

Toys - Business Model.

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

'I realize I'm making a huge salary... but I gotta be me.'

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

Man about man: 'John here sells mutual funds and worry beads.'

'I see accounting forgot to pay the gravity bill again.'

'Fortunately, our decline was slowed here when the marker ran dry.'

Rhinestone Accountant

Bob's importance was all out of whack to his job title.