Lighthearted Lawyer Gifts

'Your wife got the house and the puppies.. but I managed to get you all the buried bones.'

PSA Banter.

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

"Let's take in a trial."

'I think its being tapped.'

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

Clive Anderson

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

'After living together for ten years, we now realize that the only thing we have in common, is common law.'

Computer questionning a witness.

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

"Innocent, your honor."

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'Are you on HRT?'

"Talk to Freddy. He handles my malpractice suits."

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

I hope I didn't hear you correctly, Lance. Actually, I hope so too, Gloria.

"Call me!"

'May I see some photo ID?'

Greetings cards

'I'm feeling marvelous, Ian. No sobering thoughts, please.'

'Pull up your pants, Al. You're showing more cleavage than I am.'

'I knew it was easy, but I didn't realize it was ILLEGAL to take candy from a baby.'

'So this is your idea of making things more fun in the bedroom?'

Court. Wanting to be "the best me I can be" is no excuse for identity theft!

Lost and Found

'I don't complain, when you drag me out window shopping, do I?'

Man suggests roast butterfly for dinner in hot weather