Lighthearted Advisor Gifts

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

PSA Banter.

At the 2021 Religious Games

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Going Down?

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

Shall I be mother?

'Oh, and one more thing

Support groups for car repairs.

"Let's take in a trial."

A Dragon has a picnic with a Maiden.

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

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'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

Frankly, I'm not as interested in resisting temptation as I am in finding it!

'I had multiple personalities.'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

The Invention of the Tea Light

'Good news, folks - no attack today!'

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

Wheels for all purposes.

If there are eclipses of the sun and eclipses of the moon, how come there are never any eclipses of the earth? Can we continue this tomorrow? It's getting dark.

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'

The Wonder Years: "I wonder where my keys are. I wonder why I came upstairs. I wonder why my pants are down..."

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

"You just had to ask him how he was doing, didn't you?"

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

"Life's too short to be taken seriously..."

"I have half an hour if you want someone to get sucked into your drama."

I don't let my conscience be my guide, I consider it more of a wingman.

I hope I didn't hear you correctly, Lance. Actually, I hope so too, Gloria.

A credit to his species...