Lighthearted Friend Gifts

A locksmith's door has a sign, 'Out to Latch.'

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

"You just had to ask him how he was doing, didn't you?"

Shall I be mother?

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

PSA Banter.

10 K Tail-Chase

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Bears going water skiing.

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"He's starting to flag a bit"

Clown Happy Hour

"...and in conclusion..."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

'Do you come here often?'

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"The world revolves around my cat."

Yep, I started out as a dog groomer.

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

"Wanna go out?"

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"