Lighthearted Philosopher Gifts

'Any chance of plea bargaining?'

'The last thing I remember saying is, 'it looks like it's gonna be cloudy'.'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

At the 2021 Religious Games

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

In God we t...

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"Are you okay, Ms. Yoon?"

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

"Yup, we use atheists for room service..."

'I had multiple personalities.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Dogs who chased their tails...And caught them.'

"Well of course I'm not tired of living. What a frightfully silly thing to say!"

Adan and Eve.

'Okay - who leaked?'

'Why does my stomach growl when I drink beer?', 'Maybe it's jealous of your kidneys.'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

PSA Banter.

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Going Down?

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"