Lighthearted Philosophy Gifts

Going Down?

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Push for Disco...

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'Do you come here often?'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

The Meaning of Life

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"Wanna go out?"

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

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"Grab a lollypop on your way out."

'I had multiple personalities.'

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

'Now, as many of you know, I was the Monkey's uncle...'