Lightheartedness Gifts

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

Push for Disco...

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"This stool shall pass."

At the 2021 Religious Games

Get crazy once in a while

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Going Down?

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'Do you come here often?'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"Wanna go out?"

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

A Dragon has a picnic with a Maiden.

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

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'I had multiple personalities.'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

Frankly, I'm not as interested in resisting temptation as I am in finding it!

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

The Invention of the Tea Light

"I guess what I miss most is being drunk."

Carpet cleaning

Wheels for all purposes.

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

If there are eclipses of the sun and eclipses of the moon, how come there are never any eclipses of the earth? Can we continue this tomorrow? It's getting dark.