Lightheartedness Pillows

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

Push for Disco...

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

Get crazy once in a while

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

Going Down?

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

'Do you come here often?'

A Dragon has a picnic with a Maiden.

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"Wanna go out?"

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

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'I had multiple personalities.'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

The Invention of the Tea Light

"I guess what I miss most is being drunk."

Wheels for all purposes.

Carpet cleaning

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you how long it's been since he had a bowel movement."

Golf ball escaping.

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'