Lighthearted Reading Pillows

'I thought you might like to know that your butt just burned out.'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Laughing Zone Ahead

Push for Disco...

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

Going Down?

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

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"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

The Invention of the Tea Light

"It's a book about how to ask for a raise, '50 shades of Pay'."

"I guess what I miss most is being drunk."

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

'My husband's lost his sex drive.'

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you how long it's been since he had a bowel movement."

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"These dang-blasted gofer holes are a real nuisance, Zeke!"

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

"It's so nice out. Let's go so something weather-related."

Police Lineup

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

'Yeah, you're probably right: She's not worth fighting over... Wanna do Heads or Tails?'

Great gift ideas for the older man.

Mind lost by a mother.

'When you get closed down I'd be willing to take any dirty books off your hands.'

I've got half a mind to get one.

A credit to his species...

"Don't eat so fast"