Light-hearted Reader Pillows

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

"Don't eat so fast"

'Dimly Lit' section in a library.

The Joy of Six

Halo

Get crazy once in a while

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

Preachers with far too much input

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Giving thanks.

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

Golf ball escaping.

"These dang-blasted gofer holes are a real nuisance, Zeke!"

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

"Excuse me...is there a dressing room with a slimming mirror and soft light..."

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"Calm down! You're such a worryguts...!!"

Bus stop and reader

"Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the only alternative..."

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'When you get closed down I'd be willing to take any dirty books off your hands.'

"Call me!"

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obediance School instead...'