Lighthearted Philosophers Gifts

"Life's too short to be taken seriously..."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Going Down?

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"FREEDOM!!!"

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

The Meaning of Life

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

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"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

'Now, as many of you know, I was the Monkey's uncle...'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

'I had multiple personalities.'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.