Lighthearted Leader Gifts

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

Wheels for all purposes.

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

Push for Disco...

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

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Pastoring for Dummies

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

'I had multiple personalities.'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

The Invention of the Tea Light

"Mildred, who haven't I fired yet?

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.

If there are eclipses of the sun and eclipses of the moon, how come there are never any eclipses of the earth? Can we continue this tomorrow? It's getting dark.

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'