Light-hearted Leader Gifts

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

"Your performance review will be done with the help of a co-host to lighten the mood a little."

Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"This stool shall pass."

Get crazy once in a while

"FREEDOM!!!"

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

Preachers with far too much input

"We're making progress."

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

'Management is all about 'empathy', about developing positive, supportive and healthy relationships with colleagues and staff... and if you can't get that through your thick skull then you'll be as useless as you look!'

Wheels for all purposes.

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

'Believe me, Luci, it's hard being a boss! You want to be everyone's friend...but you can't...I wonder what you'll be when you grow up...'

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

Golf ball escaping.

'To motivate every single employee is one of the main principles of my management style. Well, if you don't meet the sales targets, you'll get sentenced to death.'

"Wrong hole!"

'The head of our script department!'

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

Yes, I'll be your insignificant other.

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obediance School instead...'

'Let's just say that I'm in a mood of cautious optimism.'