Light-hearted Leader Pillows

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

Get crazy once in a while

"FREEDOM!!!"

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

"We're making progress."

Preachers with far too much input

President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

'Management is all about 'empathy', about developing positive, supportive and healthy relationships with colleagues and staff... and if you can't get that through your thick skull then you'll be as useless as you look!'

Wheels for all purposes.

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

'Believe me, Luci, it's hard being a boss! You want to be everyone's friend...but you can't...I wonder what you'll be when you grow up...'

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

Golf ball escaping.

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

"Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the only alternative..."

"Wrong hole!"

'Let's just say that I'm in a mood of cautious optimism.'

'To motivate every single employee is one of the main principles of my management style. Well, if you don't meet the sales targets, you'll get sentenced to death.'

'I hear your performance is roaring.'

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obediance School instead...'

'The head of our script department!'

A bridge between the 'haves' and the 'have nots' crumbles.

"Don't go to the light, Ned!"