Leader With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

'To motivate every single employee is one of the main principles of my management style. Well, if you don't meet the sales targets, you'll get sentenced to death.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

Pastoring for Dummies

President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

'When are you going to show some INITIATIVE, Findley?', 'When you TELL me to, sir!'

What is it about Sarah Palin's politics that bothers you so much?

Lack History Month

"Mildred, who haven't I fired yet?

Wheels for all purposes.

"A fellow human being to see Mr. Driscoll."

Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.

"Your performance review will be done with the help of a co-host to lighten the mood a little."

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

"If only the men could see my fun side."

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

"Maybe yes. Maybe no."

'Leaders need to be prepared to make sacrifices and you're mine!'

'The head of our script department!'

'When all else fails, try doing it the way the boss told you.'

Donald Trump Christmas card

Dippy secretary.