The Humorous Leader Pillows

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

'Who vetted that leader?'

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

"Appears to be choking on his responsibility."

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

See District Directors

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

Pastoring for Dummies

Nicolas Sarkozy.

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.

"He took that kinda hard."

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

'When are you going to show some INITIATIVE, Findley?', 'When you TELL me to, sir!'

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

"Mildred, who haven't I fired yet?

Wheels for all purposes.

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

"If only the men could see my fun side."

"Maybe yes. Maybe no."

'Leaders need to be prepared to make sacrifices and you're mine!'

'When all else fails, try doing it the way the boss told you.'

'This is a business, Peterson, not a democracy.'

'The head of our script department!'