Light-hearted Manager Pillows

"Good job jumping through hoops for me. Now set them on fire."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

Get crazy once in a while

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

"We're making progress."

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

'If hired, where do you see yourself with the company in five years?'

Goldie playing chess. Check.

'I received your cheque twice, once from you and once from the bank.'

Wheels for all purposes.

'I can't talk now. I'm in the annual meeting.'

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

"Your performance review will be done with the help of a co-host to lighten the mood a little."

Golf ball escaping.

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

"He's complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, cramps and dizziness. Do you sell earplugs?"

"And that's where we fired Jeff."

Vegetate.

'Reading the want ads? No, they just happened to be on the same page as this fascinating story on...um...cosmetics.'

Dippy secretary.

Boy holding power doesn't want to share.

Everyone seemed more relaxed after the Down Skill & Dumb Up seminar.

'...Oh, and I bought some new smalls in town...'

"This is Harold. . . He's in charge of office merriment."

"I'd like to take it for a test drive."

Golf mole

'Yes; I read your report, Hanson. Then I took it home and spread it around my rosebushes.'