Light-hearted Boss Pillows

'He only works onsite one day a month, and he accepts petting instead of money.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Get crazy once in a while

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"I have good news and bad news, Tom. The good news is good for me. The bad news is bad for you."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

Lemonade $500 a glass! 'I wanna own a Ferrari by the time I'm 16.'

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

'I call it, 'Leading A Great Team is Fabulous'.'

'You'll find, Smith, that there's a very relaxed atmosphere in this office.'

"Damn it, Bershire, I've told you to never call me when I'm in my executive ball pit!"

"My records show we sent your bonus. Have you looked on your roof?"

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

'May I play through please?'

'I received your cheque twice, once from you and once from the bank.'

Wheels for all purposes.

"Your performance review will be done with the help of a co-host to lighten the mood a little."

'I'm leaving early cos I didn't come in so late'

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

Golf ball escaping.

"I think it's important that we look at this holistically."

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.

'Reading the want ads? No, they just happened to be on the same page as this fascinating story on...um...cosmetics.'

Chief Executives Teddy

"By the way, does either of you chaps happen to know anything abut Bonsai?"

"Want to play company officers and corporate raiders?"

"I'll announce the pay freeze after the meeting, because then it will look like your decision."