Light-hearted Thinker Pillows

'Mine may not be as bright, but it uses even less energy.'

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

A man farting out of the top of his bald head

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obediance School instead...'

Middle Age: When you start trading in your emotions for symptoms!

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

At the 2021 Religious Games

Get crazy once in a while

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"FREEDOM!!!"

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

"We're making progress."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

Preachers with far too much input

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

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"Grab a lollypop on your way out."

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'I had multiple personalities.'

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

'Does that mean my reflexes are GOOD then, doctor?'

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

The Invention of the Tea Light

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

"Excuse me...is there a dressing room with a slimming mirror and soft light..."

'You are daydreaming all the time. When are you going to mature?'

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'