Light-hearted Philosophers Pillows

"At least we've got plenty of time to catch up with the obituaries!"

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"This stool shall pass."

Get crazy once in a while

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Going Down?

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"FREEDOM!!!"

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

The Meaning of Life

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

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"Grab a lollypop on your way out."

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

'I had multiple personalities.'

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

'But if night falls, why does day break?'