Light-hearted Theorist Pillows

The trouble with the speed of light is it gets here too early in the morning.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

At the 2021 Religious Games

Get crazy once in a while

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Going Down?

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"FREEDOM!!!"

Capital

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

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'I had multiple personalities.'

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

The Invention of the Tea Light

'I'm working through some anger issues.'

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

"You haven't had sex since 1959? You shouldn't complain - it's only ten past eight now..."

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

"Excuse me...is there a dressing room with a slimming mirror and soft light..."

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

"Life's too short to be taken seriously..."

If there are eclipses of the sun and eclipses of the moon, how come there are never any eclipses of the earth? Can we continue this tomorrow? It's getting dark.

Golf ball escaping.